I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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