so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
