For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
