My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i think i have two assholes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
