So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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