Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
