margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
