Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
