Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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