I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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