everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
