I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
