That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
