Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
