seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
