i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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