I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just gift wrapped bread.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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