I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
