if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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