And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
