I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
