This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
