and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
