Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
