Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
