she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
