I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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