You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
