No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
