Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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