make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
well you can't waste a boner
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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