ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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