And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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