Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
