I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
