believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
