Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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