evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
