they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
