I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I cockslap morals
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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