drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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