just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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