Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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