Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
