try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
