As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
