That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
