My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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