Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
