If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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