it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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