Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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