Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
