All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
