Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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