just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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